If It Has Lettuce, The Calories Don't Count- BLT Chicken Salad

BLT Chicken Salad

I have been so good so far this year when it comes to going to the gym. I do cardio and I lift, like a good kid. It makes me feel so morally superior, until I see that one chick at the gym who squats like 400 lbs and runs 15mph on the treadmill for 2 hours. Then I just feel bad about myself. Anyway, I've been working out a bunch, getting healthy and all that, but I know that to be healthy all the way around, I need to eat better. And that brings us to salad.

Mmmmm.... bacon.

Let's face it. Salad is boring. It don't even really taste like anything, except maybe water. It's a lame food type, and I hate that it's so darn healthy. When you want to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you put in, and lettuce is so dumb that it doesn't really even have calories, so it's considered one of the go-to diet foods. I have been looking out for a salad that doesn't suck so that I can try to translate my relative gym success into dietary success. It took a while, but I solved the salad dilemma.

To make your salad not suck, the best thing to do is to smother the lettuce a whole bunch of other stuff. Suddenly, you aren't just eating a big bowl of lettuce, but a big bowl full of tomatoes, chicken, cheese, bacon, onions, and whatever else you can throw in there. Boom. Real food. There really is no mystery to a good salad. Just put in what you like and maybe add some dressing. It isn't rocket science, just do what tastes good.
....
Crap. I was just informed that if you add a bunch of unhealthy stuff to lettuce your salad is no longer healthy and has just as many calories as if you ate all that stuff on a burger. I refuse to believe that. From here on out, calories do not count if they come on a bed of lettuce. Because I said so.

Okay so on to my BLT Chicken Salad. I found this in Cooking Light (link) a while ago, and modified it to fit the ingredients I actually have in my kitchen. Seriously who keeps a bunch of buttermilk around? (Side note: one time I accidentally put buttermilk in my cereal. I'm too traumatized to keep it in the fridge for long.)  I also modified the proportions of the salad to have less lettuce and more stuff, because the more stuff makes it tastier. It isn't a hard salad, and I encourage you to play around with it to fit your own tastes.

Enjoy! It's healthy and has no calories, because it comes on a bed of lettuce. And because I said so. 

Nope. No calories at all.

 BLT Chicken Salad
Makes 2 very large salads, or 4 actually reasonably sized salads

 
3 pieces uncooked bacon
2 chicken breasts
1 egg, beaten
1/3 cup dry bread crumbs
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper, divided
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tsp dried dill
1 1/2 tsp vinegar
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 head iceberg lettuce, cut into 4 wedges
1/2 cup blue cheese
1 avocado, sliced into cubes
1 cup sliced grape tomatoes

Preheat oven to 425 deg F. Cook the bacon until crispy in a large skillet. Remove bacon from skillet, retaining bacon grease. Crumble bacon and set aside. Dredge chicken breasts in egg and then coat in bread crumbs. Sprinkle with salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Reheat retained bacon grease to high heat and add chicken. Fry 1 minute on each side, until bread crumbs are golden. Remove chicken and place in a baking dish. Bake chicken at 425 deg F for approximately 15 minutes, or until juices run clear.

While chicken is baking, combine milk, mayonnaise, dill, vinegar, 1/4 tsp pepper, and minced garlic. Mix well. Add salt to taste. Set aside.

Slice chicken. Put a wedge of lettuce onto each plate. Divide chicken among plates. Top with crumbled bacon, blue cheese, avocado, and tomato slices. Drizzle mayonnaise mixture over the top. Enjoy!